What is EMDR, and how does it work?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a structured therapy that helps you process distressing memories and experiences that are still affecting how you feel and function today. Using bilateral stimulation, typically side-to-side eye movements, EMDR helps your brain reprocess stuck memories so they lose their emotional charge. You do not have to talk through everything in detail for it to work. The goal is to help your nervous system finish processing what it never got to complete on its own.

Can EMDR help if I don't have a clear traumatic event?

Yes. A lot of people come into therapy assuming EMDR is only for people with capital-T trauma, and that is one of the biggest misconceptions about this work. EMDR is not just for veterans, car accident survivors, or people with a single defining traumatic event. It is also useful for the kinds of experiences that did not feel catastrophic in the moment but still shape how you move through the world today. That includes things like growing up with a parent whose emotions you had to manage. Repeated experiences of being dismissed, criticized, or made to feel like too much. Long stretches of feeling unseen, even by people who loved you. A pattern of relationships where you were the one who held everything together. None of these may show up as a single memory, but they leave marks on the nervous system all the same. Chronic anxiety, perfectionism, and the sense of never quite being enough often trace back to experiences exactly like these. If you find yourself reacting bigger than the situation calls for, getting stuck in the same emotional loops, or carrying beliefs about yourself that you cannot logic your way out of, that is the kind of material EMDR can work with. We do not have to find a clean origin story. We follow what your body and brain actually carry, even if it is harder to name.

What are the drawbacks of EMDR therapy?

EMDR can bring up difficult emotions as memories are being processed, which can feel uncomfortable before it feels better. It is not a passive process, and some sessions can feel intense. It also requires a degree of trust between you and your therapist, which takes time to build. That said, many people find it moves faster than traditional talk therapy for certain kinds of wounds. And you will not go through it alone. I work at a pace that feels manageable for you.

What is your approach to EMDR therapy?

I work with people who are tired of playing it safe, who want to stop swallowing their truth to keep the peace, and who are ready to actually feel known. My approach is direct but warm. I take your nervous system seriously, and I also believe in your capacity to move through hard things. Alongside EMDR, I draw on my background working with relationship patterns, boundaries, and the ways fear shows up in how we connect with others.

What does a typical EMDR session look like?

No two sessions are exactly the same, but here is what you can generally expect. We will start by checking in on how you are doing and what feels present for you that day. From there, we identify a specific memory, belief, or experience to focus on. Once we have a target, we move into the processing phase. You will follow a back-and-forth stimulus, usually my finger moving side to side, while keeping that memory or feeling in mind. You do not have to narrate everything out loud. Most of what happens is internal. I will check in with you periodically and we will keep going until the memory loses its emotional charge. We always close the session by making sure you feel grounded and settled before you leave. EMDR is not the kind of therapy where you walk out mid-process. Resourcing and stabilization are built into every session. Some people notice shifts quickly. Others need more time. Either way, you will not be left to figure out what just happened on your own.

What kinds of issues can you help me with?

I specialize in working with adults navigating shame, anxiety, anger, and relational wounds. Many clients come in feeling like no one really knows them, or like they are one wrong move away from everything falling apart. I also work with people healing from trauma, processing grief or major life transitions, and those who want to stop self-abandoning in their relationships. If you have spent a long time being the person who holds it all together, I can help you put some of that weight down.

What can I expect from the therapy process?

We will start by getting to know your story and building enough safety for the deeper work. EMDR is not something we jump into without a foundation. Early sessions focus on understanding what you are carrying and how your nervous system responds. When you are ready, we will move into processing, where the real shifts tend to happen. Most clients describe it as hard but worth it, and many notice changes in how they feel and respond that surprised them.

How do I know if your practice is the right fit?

You might be a good fit if you are done white-knuckling your way through life, if you want a therapist who will be real with you, and if you are ready to do more than just talk about your problems. I work best with people who are curious about themselves and willing to sit with discomfort in service of something better. If you want a space where you can actually be honest, reach out.

What makes EMDR different from traditional talk therapy?

In talk therapy, a lot of the work happens through conversation. You reflect on your experiences, build insight, and make meaning of what has happened to you. That can be incredibly valuable. But for some people, insight only goes so far. You can understand exactly why you react the way you do and still not be able to change it. EMDR works differently. Rather than talking through an experience, you process it. The bilateral stimulation helps your brain do something it could not finish on its own, moving a stuck memory through your nervous system so it loses its grip. You do not need to find the right words or construct a narrative. The processing happens at a level beneath language. Many clients find that EMDR moves faster for certain kinds of wounds, particularly trauma, shame, and deeply ingrained patterns. That does not mean talk therapy is not useful. I draw on both, and for a lot of people, they work well together.

How do I get started?

The first step is scheduling a free intro call. We will talk about what brought you to therapy and see if working together makes sense. No need to have it figured out before we connect.

Chicago EMDR Therapist

Some things are hard to think your way out of. You can know, logically, that you are not in danger, that you are doing fine, that the past is the past, and still feel stuck in the same patterns, the same reactions, the same weight you cannot seem to put down. EMDR therapy works at the level where that stuck feeling actually lives, helping your nervous system process what your mind alone cannot resolve.

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Meet your Chicago EMDR therapist

Meg Doster, LMFT

Hi, I'm Meg. I know what it's like to work hard at keeping everything together on the outside while something underneath stays stuck. I've done my own work around people-pleasing, fear of conflict, and learning that avoiding the hard things doesn't make them go away. It just costs more over time.

That personal experience shapes how I work. I sit with people who feel overwhelmed by shame, anger, and anxiety, and who carry a quiet fear of being truly known. The worry that if someone sees all of you, something will break. I get it. That fear is deeply human.

What I've learned, and what I see in my clients, is that the path to feeling free and connected runs through the hard stuff, not around it. EMDR helps make that path more manageable.

Credentials: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR Trained
EMDR training: EMDRIA
Specialties: trauma, anxiety, people-pleasing, boundaries
Clientele: Adults
Location: Chicago, IL
Virtual therapy: Yes
Private pay. Superbills provided for out-of-network insurance reimbursement.

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EMDR Therapy with Meg Doster, LMFT

Meg Doster, LMFT, walks through how EMDR therapy works and the kinds of experiences it tends to help with most. EMDR is an evidence-based approach for trauma, anxiety, and memories that still feel present years later. If you are considering EMDR therapy in Chicago, schedule a free intro call to talk through whether it might be a good fit for what you are working on.

Book here

Who EMDR helps

EMDR can help with a variety of concerns including:

Trauma and PTSD
Anxiety and panic
Shame and self-criticism
Relational wounds and people-pleasing patterns
Grief and major life transitions
Stuck patterns that talk therapy has not resolved

FAQs about EMDR therapy

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a structured therapy that helps you process distressing memories and experiences that are still affecting how you feel and function today. Using bilateral stimulation, typically side-to-side eye movements, EMDR helps your brain reprocess stuck memories so they lose their emotional charge. You do not have to talk through everything in detail for it to work. The goal is to help your nervous system finish processing what it never got to complete on its own.
Yes. A lot of people come into therapy assuming EMDR is only for people with capital-T trauma, and that is one of the biggest misconceptions about this work. EMDR is not just for veterans, car accident survivors, or people with a single defining traumatic event. It is also useful for the kinds of experiences that did not feel catastrophic in the moment but still shape how you move through the world today.
That includes things like growing up with a parent whose emotions you had to manage. Repeated experiences of being dismissed, criticized, or made to feel like too much. Long stretches of feeling unseen, even by people who loved you. A pattern of relationships where you were the one who held everything together. None of these may show up as a single memory, but they leave marks on the nervous system all the same. Chronic anxiety, perfectionism, and the sense of never quite being enough often trace back to experiences exactly like these.
If you find yourself reacting bigger than the situation calls for, getting stuck in the same emotional loops, or carrying beliefs about yourself that you cannot logic your way out of, that is the kind of material EMDR can work with. We do not have to find a clean origin story. We follow what your body and brain actually carry, even if it is harder to name.
EMDR can bring up difficult emotions as memories are being processed, which can feel uncomfortable before it feels better. It is not a passive process, and some sessions can feel intense. It also requires a degree of trust between you and your therapist, which takes time to build. That said, many people find it moves faster than traditional talk therapy for certain kinds of wounds. And you will not go through it alone. I work at a pace that feels manageable for you.
I work with people who are tired of playing it safe, who want to stop swallowing their truth to keep the peace, and who are ready to actually feel known. My approach is direct but warm. I take your nervous system seriously, and I also believe in your capacity to move through hard things. Alongside EMDR, I draw on my background working with relationship patterns, boundaries, and the ways fear shows up in how we connect with others.
No two sessions are exactly the same, but here is what you can generally expect. We will start by checking in on how you are doing and what feels present for you that day. From there, we identify a specific memory, belief, or experience to focus on.
Once we have a target, we move into the processing phase. You will follow a back-and-forth stimulus, usually my finger moving side to side, while keeping that memory or feeling in mind. You do not have to narrate everything out loud. Most of what happens is internal. I will check in with you periodically and we will keep going until the memory loses its emotional charge.
We always close the session by making sure you feel grounded and settled before you leave. EMDR is not the kind of therapy where you walk out mid-process. Resourcing and stabilization are built into every session.
Some people notice shifts quickly. Others need more time. Either way, you will not be left to figure out what just happened on your own.

I specialize in working with adults navigating shame, anxiety, anger, and relational wounds. Many clients come in feeling like no one really knows them, or like they are one wrong move away from everything falling apart. I also work with people healing from trauma, processing grief or major life transitions, and those who want to stop self-abandoning in their relationships. If you have spent a long time being the person who holds it all together, I can help you put some of that weight down.
We will start by getting to know your story and building enough safety for the deeper work. EMDR is not something we jump into without a foundation. Early sessions focus on understanding what you are carrying and how your nervous system responds. When you are ready, we will move into processing, where the real shifts tend to happen. Most clients describe it as hard but worth it, and many notice changes in how they feel and respond that surprised them.
You might be a good fit if you are done white-knuckling your way through life, if you want a therapist who will be real with you, and if you are ready to do more than just talk about your problems. I work best with people who are curious about themselves and willing to sit with discomfort in service of something better. If you want a space where you can actually be honest, reach out.
In talk therapy, a lot of the work happens through conversation. You reflect on your experiences, build insight, and make meaning of what has happened to you. That can be incredibly valuable. But for some people, insight only goes so far. You can understand exactly why you react the way you do and still not be able to change it.
EMDR works differently. Rather than talking through an experience, you process it. The bilateral stimulation helps your brain do something it could not finish on its own, moving a stuck memory through your nervous system so it loses its grip. You do not need to find the right words or construct a narrative. The processing happens at a level beneath language.
Many clients find that EMDR moves faster for certain kinds of wounds, particularly trauma, shame, and deeply ingrained patterns. That does not mean talk therapy is not useful. I draw on both, and for a lot of people, they work well together.
The first step is scheduling a free intro call. We will talk about what brought you to therapy and see if working together makes sense. No need to have it figured out before we connect.

Start working with a Chicago EMDR therapist today

Book your free intro call

Resources

Want to learn more about EMDR? These are trusted sources I draw on in my own continuing education and practice.

EMDR International Association (EMDRIA)
EMDR Research Foundation
Francine Shapiro Library, peer-reviewed EMDR research database